Let’s talk about sex (no, really)


‘The change’ or ‘that time of life’ – call it what you will ladies, it’s an unavoidable fact of life that menopause will happen to us all. As the next stage in the journey of womanhood, nerves about what’s to come are inevitable, especially when it comes to your sex life.


But with a wealth of information and advice available, sex and intimacy with your partner doesn’t have to stop as soon as you reach the menopause milestone. We’ve listed out some of the changes you may experience and what you can do to help get your sex life back on track.


What is menopause?


Let’s break it down with a quick 101. Simply put, menopause marks the end of regular monthly periods. When you’ve had no bleeding for 12 months in a row, you’re officially in the menopause club.


Low libido


There’s no such thing as a normal sex drive as every woman is different. Fluctuating levels of reproductive hormones during menopause can often result in a change in libido (a fancy word for interest in sex). As both testosterone and oestrogen levels decrease, it may become more difficult for you to become aroused.


Finding new ways of transforming your sex life alongside menopause can help to bring back intimacy in relationships. Be open to discussing with your partner ways to change up your sex life, whether that is trying new routines or incorporating adult toys.


If you’re worried about your libido, there’s a whole world of advice out there – remember, your GP is there to help.


Vaginal dryness


One of the most common and more noticeable side effects of menopause, vaginal dryness is caused by falling oestrogen levels. This affects vaginal tissues, causing them to produce less lubricant, making sex less comfortable and sometimes painful.


Don’t panic! Vaginal dryness doesn’t signal the end of sex during menopause. Over-the-counter lubricants and gels are about to become a staple in your bedside drawer, as they can help add moisture to the vaginal lining – their effectiveness can last for hours, too. With water-based, oil-based or silicone-based lubricant available, there’s something out there for every woman.


Vaginal atrophy


Vaginal atrophy (or atrophic vaginitis) is the thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls and usually occurs after a woman has gone through the menopause. Similar to vaginal dryness, without oestrogen tissue becomes more fragile, less elastic and more easily injured, so sex can often be painful and uncomfortable. Using lubrication during sex can help to ease discomfort, but if discomfort persists, talk to a pharmacist or GP for advice.


Women who experience atrophic vaginitis are also more likely to suffer from vaginal infections, as the environment down there changes, making it easier for yeast and bacteria to live. If you notice any unusual vaginal symptoms, it’s worth visiting your GP.


Hot flushes


Caused by those pesky fluctuating hormones having an impact on the part of the brain responsible for controlling body temperature, you may notice hot flushes cropping up in all sorts of places – and yes the bedroom is likely to be one of them! Women going through menopause can experience hot flushes for a few years.


If you’re finding that hot flushes are interrupting your sex life and stopping you from being intimate with your partner, don’t sweat in silence! Self-help remedies such as avoiding spicy food and alcohol, wearing cotton clothing or loose thin layers, and drinking plenty of water are just some of the ways to help manage hot flushes. If you’re finding that symptoms of menopause are becoming a nuisance and disrupting your day-to-day routine, talk to your GP about treatments available.


Keep in mind that there are many things you can do to keep your sex life going during menopause, even if you’re experiencing its side effects. Every woman’s menopause journey is different, so don’t worry if some solutions aren’t working for you first time.